May 28, 2010
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Anything Except Their New Stuff
It is a commonly thought among people who know me that I know a lot about popular music. This may or may not be true. I suppose there are things that may indicate that I am a pop music guru. It is true that I have an enormous CD collection, an iPod filled with over 10,000 songs (more or less), and a subscription to Rolling Stone. Sometimes, I even read Blender! However, it is also true that I do not know the difference between the Beatles and the Monkees. I don’t know if they are two distinct bands or one band with two names. I do know that at one point one of them had a television show and one of them is slightly overrated, but I cannot tell you who the hell “Ringo Jones” is, or if he even exists.
Whether I know a lot about pop music or not is not as important as the perception that I know a lot about it. This is true for a lot of aspects of life, but especially in the pretentious world of music. Being that modern music is the soundtrack to our lives, it is thought that anyone with vast knowledge of this must have some sort of revolutionary insight into the meaning of existence.
Also, it makes you seem cool in front of your friends when you can say you’ve heard of Cage the Elephant.
Whenever you’re given a chance to sound smart, you should always take it. Whenever someone asks you about an artist or band that you’ve never heard of, always reply with, “I like anything except their new stuff.” This is an idiotic statement, but this statement will get you respect 90% of the time because it implies that 1) you’ve heard of them, 2) you’ve heard some of their stuff that few people have heard, and 3) it makes you appear to have eclectic taste. You might be as clueless as a broken clock, but even a broken clock is right twice a day.
I don’t really know that much about music, I swear.
Comments (2)
I evaluate bands in overall terms, and also album by album. For example, Tori Amos’s latest album is good, but it’s not better than its predecessor. Slayer’s latest album, in contrast, blows away their previous effort. Of course, these are just my opinions, but the fact is that if someone is impressed by the a single comment such as “I like anything but their newer stuff,” then they’re just too easily impressed.
“Sometimes, I even read Blender! ” HAHAHAHAHA