Thursday, 03 January 2008

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  Thumbchips Glossary

  Some of you are very familiar with this blog.  Some of you are not.  I'm sure most of the time you have no idea what I'm talking about.  That's understandable.  I'm a babbling lunatic!

  
  For your convenience, I've compiled a glossary of frequently mentioned terms and recurring characters on this blog.  This will be updated as necessary, and it will be easily accessible through a link at the top of the blog.  Please let me know if I missed anything and if I should be shot for making such a lame post.
  

  
  GLOSSARY:
  
  

  626:  Synonymous term and area code for the San Gabriel Valley.  Furthermore, someone from the San Gabriel Valley is called a 626er.

  818:  Synonymous term and area code for the San Fernando Valley.

  Avril Lavigne:  A singer/songwriter from Canada.  She is best known for her pop anthems Complicated and Sk8er Boi.  She is one of manilajones’ favorite singer/songwriters, though he is not sure why.

   
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Burbank:  A city in the southeastern San Fernando Valley.  This is where manilajones has lived since December 1, 2005.  Its peculiar location between Hollywood and the rest of the world has been a source of inspiration for many blog entries.

  Cathy:  One of manilajones’ two remaining friends from UCSD.  She is a teacher by trade and lives in the west San Fernando Valley.  She is known for making impulsive decisions, such as purchasing antique scooters and dating gangster rappers.  She has the distinction of being manilajones’only friend who once hated him at some point in the past, though manilajones has never shared the same sentiment.  He has always considered Cathy a “thinker” and one of his most reflective friends.

  Cerritos:  A suburban city in southeastern Los Angeles county.  This is the city where manilajones was born and raised. Cerritos has a large population of extremely cool and good-looking Asian Americans, particularly Filipino, Korean, Chinese, and Indian.  Cerritos is known for being a very clean and well-kept city, especially when compared to the surrounding communities such as Norwalk, Downey, and Lakewood.  People from Cerritos are often proud of being from Cerritos, and people not from Cerritos (aka "haters") can't stand always hearing about it.
  

  Dexter Thumbchips:  One of manilajones’ aliases and the blog’s unofficial mascot.

  Divorce Insurance:  Another term for “engagement ring”.

  Doctor McCreepy:  One of manilajones’ aliases.

  Florida:  A state in the southeastern United States.  manilajones attended professional school for four years in this toilet of a state.

  Gary:  manilajones’ ostensibly gay friend.  He is nice, friendly, kind, caring, and thoughtful.  You know, he’s gay.

  Handsome BoyModeling School:  A duo of hiphop music producers (Prince Paul and Dan the Automator) who released two LPs in the early 2000s.  The LPs taught lessons on what it means to be an extremely handsome and perfect gentleman.  manilajones considers himself to be a graduate of the Handsome Boy Modeling School.

  Harriet:  A close friend of manilajones.  She is a faithful Christian and antithesis of everything manilajones believes in.  Despite their different spiritualities, their relationship is not antagonistic.  Their conversations often cause manilajones to think deeply about the Universe.  Because she lives in Burbank, manilajones sees her quite frequently.

  “How the hell should I know?  I’m not a [insert word/term that manilajones is not].”:  A phrase that appears in 74% of the blog entries.

  “I have no redeeming qualities.”: manilajones’ catchphrase.

  "I'm just your ordinary average, everyday, sane/psycho supergod.":  The official slogan for the blog.  It's a lyric from the Liz Phair song "Extraordinary" (although the correct lyric is "supergoddess").
  

  Joe Bananas:  One of manilajones’ aliases.

  Julie:  manilajones’ old-school friend from Cerritos.  She is a part-time sociologist and full-time cynic.  Though they share the same views on political and social issues, manilajones has been in many debates with her,and spectacularly lost all of them.  She also has an ear for fantastic music.

  Kate Beckinsale:  A British actress whom manilajones has a particular fondness for.  manilajones considers her to be the second most beautiful person ever created by the Universe (she is second only to Sarah). Yes, that means that she is hotter than Jessica Alba.

  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  KT Tunstall:  One of manilajones’ favorite singer/songwriters.  manilajones considers her and himself to think along the same wavelength, particularly concerning matters of the Universe and whatnot.
  
  

   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  LittleMissGrumpy:  Julie’s Xanga username.
  

  Liz Phair:  One of manilajones' favorite singer/songwriters.  She is a bonafide rock star and is best known for writing shocking and offensive lyrics.
  

   

   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  manilajones:  Shane Varnet’s Xanga username.  It was his on-air name when he did college radio from 2000-2004.  It is also his AIM handle.

  Michelle Branch:  A singer/songwriter originally from Sedona,AZ.  She is manilajones’ favorite singer.  He has attributed her song All You Wanted to saving his life in 2002.

   

   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Mondays:  manilajones’ term for people from San Diego, because everyone hates “Mondays”.

  Optometry:  manilajones’ consciously chosen career.  He has no redeeming qualities.

  Paul:  A close friend and colleague of manilajones from the 626.  He is a man of very, very, very…very few words.

  Philberto Villanueva:  One of manilajones’ aliases.

  Phillipe Longchamps:  One of manilajones’ aliases.

  Romancing the Bean:  The pretentious coffee house that is in the first floor of manilajones' apartment building.  The coffee house is frequented by yuppies and hipsters.  manilajones often brings his laptop there and pretends to write Hollywood screenplays, hoping to get noticed.  However, what he is really doing is observing all passerbys.
  

  San Fernando Valley:  One of nine communities that make up the city of Los Angeles. Its claim to fame is being the home of B-list Hollywood trash and pornstars, which manilajones finds highly intriguing.

  San Gabriel Valley:  A valley that is adjacent to Los Angeles to the east.  It has a large population of Asian Americans, particularly Chinese and Vietnamese.  manilajones and Julie often make fun of the SGV’s reputation of having wack, ugly,and fake people.

  Sarah:  The girl who manilajones loves but can never be with.  They haven’t spoken since October 15, 2005.  She is unequivocally the inspiration for this blog.

  Shane Varnet:  manilajones’ real name.

  Thumbchips:  The name of the blog.  The term’s origin comes from an incident involving Sarah, who had an endearing habit of biting dead skin off of her thumbs.

  UCSD:  The University of California at San Diego.  This is where manilajones attended undergrad.  It is located in boring La Jolla, CA, which is located in boring San Diego, CA, which is a city that manilajones despises with extreme passion. His extreme dislike for San Diego is derived from his extreme dislike for San Diegans.

  The Universe:  Something that manilajones won’t shut up about.

  Violeta:  manilajones’ best friend. 

  Zandra:  One of manilajones’ two remaining friends from UCSD.  She has never been mentioned on this blog…until now.

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