Tuesday, 15 January 2008
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Currently Listening
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
By Foo Fighters
see relatedWho I Am
(Note: This was originally a protected post, as I don’t usually talk about myself on the public ethereal net. But, I think everyone needs to know the truth right now so they’ll stop bugging me.)
For some odd reason, I’ve been fielding a particular question asked by several people over the past several days. I was asked this question at a family party over the weekend. I was asked this question at work. I was asked this question at the doctor’s office. I was asked this question by my neighbor. And, I was asked this question in a spam email. The question was, “Why are you single?”
Whenever I’m asked this question, I never give a conclusive answer. I usually respond with, “I don’t know. Why not?” It’s not because I don’t know what the answer is. I am fully conscious to the reason as to why I am single. But, I never give this answer when people ask because I’m certain that it will make them uncomfortable and it will just evolve into a conversation that I don’t want to get into. But, for those of you who want to know why I am single, the short answer is this: Women don’t find me attractive because I’m a weird-looking dude who has no game. That is 100% accurate and it is the indisputable truth.
Now for the long answer!
I’m single because women don’t find me attractive. Furthermore, I don’t expect women to find me attractive because there is nothing attractive about me. I’m not cute. I’m not buff. I look goofy when I smile. I look like an asshole when I don’t smile. I’m boring. I don’t go out. I don’t like clubs. I don’t like dancing. I know nothing about fine dining. I don’t like pets. I don’t want kids. I don’t go snowboarding. I don’t go to the beach. I don’t go to the movies. I don’t Rollerblade. I don’t go hiking. I don’t go mountain biking. I don’t play sports. I don’t play a musical instrument. I don’t sing. I have no talents. I'm not artistic. I don’t travel. I don’t go on vacation. I don’t know how to cook. I don’t have any fun hobbies. The only things that I really like to do are read, write, talk, and elevate, but girls don’t find that attractive. I have no redeeming qualities.
On top of it all, I have a history of depression, but that’s not necessarily something that I regret or am ashamed of. I’ve lost a few “friends” because they got sick of hearing about my miserable life whenever they saw me. I’ve seen people abandon me at my darkest hour simply because of the way it made them feel, and that’s something that I will never forget. I’ve been fooled by people with small hearts and no compassion, and that has everything to do with my lack of faith in people.
I am who I am. I am every single thing that was written above. And I’m fine with it. I’m not going to change myself because I’m not ashamed of myself. The disconnect between me and women is that women don’t like the things that were written above. I am a depressed, quarter-aged, boring optometrist who doesn’t have very many hobbies. The reason I am single is because there isn’t anyone who is capable of getting over that and liking me for who I am.
However, the alternative doesn’t sound appealing either. The alternative would be to date a girl and eventually make that girl my girlfriend. We would then hang out together all of the time. She would eventually force herself into my apartment and I would have to wake up every morning to her taking up more than half of my bed. She would then tell me what to eat and what to watch on TV and she’d make me hang out with her uninteresting friends. She would pressure me into buying her divorce insurance and marrying her. She would then be entitled to suck up half of my income. Because she loves herself so much she would use me to create more people just like her and she would want me to raise these people, too. She would nag me constantly about household chores and I would probably have to give up watching sports and blogging. Over the years I would ponder where the hell my life went wrong and watch her slowly turn into her mother.
I’m in a no-win situation.
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Comments (17)
wow, you really don't give yourself many options for a bright future relationship-wise. i guess one can get that way when they've had enough shitty experiences with people. i wonder why people ask you if you're single. is it cuz you've reached that age when you're "supposed" to be with someone or is it because they've found you attractive in some way and are wondering why you're not with anyone? just curious what you think.
also, you sound so damn emo. i'd love to see how you are in person. i bet you're a hoot. and stop saying you're weird-looking! filipinos have some of the finest fucking men on the planet! geez.
this is rather mood dampening.
i can relate in some ways.
it's easy for me, however.. as with any female to "get" a man.. because well.. we have this thing called a vagina.
not that i'm gay, but i think you're a pretty good lookin' dude.
yup. no girl wants to be w. a man who is more insecure than she is. b.c who's she going to complain about how ugly fat she is getting and how ugly she looks today to?
*sigh* Heh... I hate life.
Thank you, you've summed up what I've wanted to say for so long, just a few slight changes. One of the major ones being I'm still at an age where everyone is single.
i just re-read this post and noticed you said, "The only things that I really like to do are read, write, talk, and elevate, but girls don’t find that attractive."
um, i like to read, write, talk, and elevate. maybe you should think about dating women rather than girls.
I think you will be in a win-win situation. I'm not saying never. Just not now. But you will.
do you not do all those things because you've never tried them, or because you did and don't like doing them? there are a lot of things i thought i just "don't" do, until i've tried it and fell in love with it.
The problem here is you're focusing on girls... you need to find women.
I think you have plenty of good qualities and no you shouldn't change for anyone. And then I ask, if you were presented with the knowledge that you'd never find that one person for you, would you be okay with that? If you're happy with being a bachelor forever, why shouldn't you be? Do what you love and the happiness will follow.
You never know, some of you may have changed without realizing and so will the women in your life. Don't rush to do anything. Enjoy your life however you wish to, and don't feel pressured to be with someone. Not everyone has to be with someone else to be satisfied. Living life to YOUR fullest is what makes you satisfied.
You're not meeting the right women, that's all. When they're not for you, they won't get you; when they don't get you, they weren't for you, you know the drill.
And I'd add more, but the commenters above have said it all. =)
Thats true. People do ask single people about their singleness. I wonder why.
I think you're single because you're self-absorbed and lackadasical.
Wow. While I admire your honesty, I had to come here and tell you I do not know what to say!