Monday, 19 January 2009

• Currently Sawdust By The Killers see related

  The Killing of a Blog

  I don’t understand The Killers.  They are allegedly an alternative rock band whose music is played on alleged alternative rock radio stations.  But, like most Americans who are alive, I don’t know if Brandon Flowers wants to be a rock star or a disco singer.  For example, the two songs that best exemplify the range of The Killers’ music are probably Shadowplay and Human.  While Shadowplay is a song that legitimately rocks, Human sounds like a shitty and uninspired techno song that was created for the shallow purpose of getting airplay on mindless Top 40 radio.  I like both songs equally.  I have no redeeming qualities. 

  I suspect that a lot of people don’t understand The Killers and I suspect that this is why people both love and hate them at the same time.  By that same token, as a blogger, I suspect that some people don’t understand me and I suspect that this is why people both love and hate me at the same time.  I know all of this because I read the comments.  From what I’ve read, a common sentiment is that some people don’t “get” my blogging style.  In reality, there isn’t much to “get,” as my blog is totally formulaic.  With the exception of a few posts (including this one), I have followed six personal guidelines when it comes to blogging.  For the sake of understanding me better, I will now present these guidelines for the first time ever!

  manilajones’ Blogging Guidelines:

  1. Generally speaking, my blog is not an online journal or diary.  I try to write my blog entries as if they were columns in a newspaper or magazine.  On rare occasions I’ll blog about my personal life, but, for the most part, I blog about the issues I care about.  My personal life is not as interesting as other topics.   The most notable exception to this is the Starbucks Story Tuesday series, but those entries are still more about Starbucks than me.  Sadly, commercial coffee shops are much more fascinating than me.
  2. I'm overly analytical.  Someone once tried to insult me by saying that I over-think life.  I took this as a compliment.  I do over-think life.  I think over-thinking is fun!  I support the preposterous metaphysical ideology that everything in the world can be explained by everything else.
  3. I try not to assume that I have a returning audience.  I try to write every post as if it will be read by someone who has never read anything I have written before.
  4. I rarely address the readers of my blog, and that’s mostly because I’d feel arrogant to assume that someone is reading.  Therefore, I don’t say things like, “Today, I wanted to talk to you guys about traditional gender roles and how important they are in living a Christian lifestyle.”  I don’t understand beginning entries like this because I don’t understand why anyone would care what I want to blog about.  Also, I never end a post by posing a question for whoever is reading. 
  5. I don’t apologize for not updating.  It doesn’t feel right for me to assume that people are waiting on the edge of their seats for me to post my latest entry.  I also don’t apologize for my content.  I don’t say things like, “I’m sorry for not writing anything intelligent today,” or things similar to that.  I already consciously know my blog sucks.  I like to pretend it doesn’t.  I don’t know why.  I should probably apologize.

  I’m just an alleged blogger on an alleged blogging site.  Yes, I don’t understand my blog either.  I’m sorry, but maybe tomorrow I’ll post something worthwhile.  I think I might have just killed it.

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