Thursday, 12 March 2009
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see relatedReturn of the Rant
One of the things that I used to do in the early days of this blog was go on overly maniacal rants about things that pissed me off. I don’t really know why I stopped doing that. Maybe it’s because of the damn economy. How the hell should I know? I’m not a stock market analyst.
It’s been over two years since the last time I went on a rant. Well, I’m back and I’m ranting mad. My anger level might be more than common sense would dictate. This might construe me as an abrasive individual. But, don’t be fooled. I’m still from the Handsome Boy Modeling School, bitch.
To people who unsubscribe and de-friend me because I never read or comment on their site: REALLY?? Let me set the record straight. I’m not here to inflate my ego, your ego, or anyone else’s ego. Furthermore, I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to BLOG. I could care less if I have zero or a million readers. Don’t get me wrong. I’m flattered that there are some people who like to read my piece of shit of a blog. Read because you enjoy it and comment because you have something to say, but don’t do those things just because you expect me to go to your own damn site and stroke your own fucking ego.
To people who can’t stop raving about the Snuggie: This is why other countries laugh at us. This piece of shit was invented over a hundred years ago, and I bet you’ve had one your entire life. Go to your bathroom, get your bathrobe, and put it on backwards. There’s your fucking “Snuggie,” asshat.
To people who didn’t vote for Barack Obama and are already complaining about him: Shut the fuck up. He’s been on the job for not even two months and he’s only done exactly what he said he was going to do. You might not agree with his policies, but your participation in the election means that you acknowledge the legitimacy of the voting system and accept all possible outcomes. You knew it was possible it would end like this. Complaining about Obama is like the losing football team complaining about the winning team because they played by the rules. NOBODY LIKES A SORE LOSER. Complain about Obama when he goes back on his word or lies to America, fuckers.
To people who wait in line for electronic gadgets on the day they come out: Here’s a secret for all you dorks: Your little iPhone, iPod, Blackberry, or Xbox thingy will be there again NEXT WEEK. And, it will be cheaper and you won’t have to stand in line like a fucking douche to get it. If you want to spend eight hours of your life standing in line for something that is not going to impress anyone, then go ahead. And when you get your new phone you can use it to call your mom to pick you up from the fucking electronics store, asshole.
To people who troll Revelife: Stop being a cunt. Let them have their own damn forum where they can praise the Lord without hearing shit from lost souls like you. I can understand with disagreeing with what they talk about, but the reason you harass them is not because of a difference in ideology but because picking on them makes you feel better. The only reason you do it is because you know they’re a bunch of pussies who won’t fight back. Do you really want to debate spiritual ideology? Why don’t you go to an Islamic fundamentalist/extremist website and talk shit to them? Let’s see how smart and intellectual you feel after they go al-Qaeda on your ass.
To Oprah Winfrey: You egotistical bitch! Who the hell starts a magazine and puts herself on the cover of EVERY ISSUE?
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Comments (26)
Nice rants.
I want to make a "SnugWow!". It'll be like a Snuggie, but made of ShamWow material.
I'll make millllllions.
Best thing I've read all day.
bu bub ut if people didn't get excited enough to spend cash in predictable patterns - not only would the item, event,whetever...not be there...not much of anything cool would. BUZZ baby. christmas aren't for christ so much as it is to stay alive in a real world sense- to be born again in the black all previous sins erased with the lifes blood of the green jesus. that is my only point i felt damned sure everyone could disagree with on multiple levels. for the record i do not believe in the green jesus...i beleive in ideas *like not using the edit button to correct my spelling and other errors but to say more and more). your ideas continue to amuse me.
This... just made my week.
hehehe, oprah
i was going to unsubscribe you, but when u wrote "REALLY??" it just made me laugh, so i couldn't do it, even tho u never boost my ego, asshole!
jk dr shane!!
Alright,
so upon reading this post I immediately googled the "Snuggie," and looked for reviews. Dude, it actually looks comfortable, douchey as it may be. It's the blanket version of Crocs, ugh. I hate Crocs. These items would probably have a lot less of a stigma associated with them if their commercials weren't so obnoxious.
i think you're the only one who is being 100% truthful when you say that you don't care who reads your stuff and you blog to blog. a lot of bloggers, esp top bloggers say that but they dont seem it
and LOL at the last one
I agree with most of these rants, especially the one about Oprah Winfrey. Her magazines make me go ugh every time I'm at a checkout at the grocery store.
The snuggie thing really did make me laugh out loud! Great rant : )
asshat good one.........
i like it
youre one of my favorite writers and who cares if i sniff in my pillow at night and drop my shoulders by day because you never visit my site. i'm still gonna read it. JERK!
LMAO
What the hell is a Snuggie? And as for the rest, A-fucking-men, lol.
Monks came up with the freakin' Snuggie. Their problem is they didn't have infomercials back then, and the only colors their robes came in were a dreary brown. They should have rocked the burdandy, royal blue and sage green. And, they should have offered by one, get a second one free. Not very entreprenurial these monks.
you should really rant more often.
I must be out of it - which isn't surprising - since I have no idea what a Snuggie is AND because it took me a couple minutes to figure out what Revelife is.
And if I want to, I will damn well blog about how much I HATE THAT YOU DON'T COMMENT MY BLOG. Oh, wait. Was I supposed to blog an entry first? HAHA. :P Whatever. Hopefully, I'll get back into blogging and get all psycho about monitoring my comments so I can be the focus of one of your rants, but for now...yea... :D
Obviously, I totally agree with your rants. And I was even ranting (to a friend, not on Xanga) about some other stuff. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd go blog about it, adding my other ones. Instead, I'll wait for you to rant again and just say, "What manilajones said!" :D
"you can use it to call your mom to pick you up from the fucking electronics store, asshole. "
*Bows down to you*
Awww, you caught me. I've been guilty of trolling Revelife and posting highly unproductive comments. They usually end up serving more as a cathartic scream into the barren intellectual wilderness than as something that might actually change someone's mind about god. But I still hold out a little hope.
And you're completely wrong in assuming they don't fight back. Some of those folks can be nasty little creatures.
@psycho_ash - LMAO.
i think rachael ray does too.
I suddenly feel thankful that I have other things to do besides read Revelife posts, which I know will only appall and terrify me anyway.
You should rant more often. Go on, bash other people's egos in on a regular basis!
This sounds eerily like another blogger on xanga...
This made me laugh.
the (ex)mayor of philadelphia was camping out at some electronics store waiting for the first iphone to come out back in the day. he was there for hours till someone came up to him and asked him why did he seem to have so much free time on his hands when the city's murder rate was so high? and it was such an embarrassment he had to leave...
yeah, he's not the mayor anymore.