Tuesday, 26 May 2009
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We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
By Modest Mouse
see relatedSarah's Encore
Three years ago I started this blog as an outlet to express the emotive reactions I was going through at that time. This was the direct result of the disastrous ending to a relationship I had with a girl named Sarah, a girl who by all conventional and non-conventional definitions I was in love with. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that this blog was just another hackneyed attempt by a lovesick dork to garner sympathy for his plight in the cyber world that he otherwise couldn’t get in real life. If you’re thinking that the origins of this blog was as cliché as 85% of the other blogs on Xanga, then you’re exactly right. What can I say? I grew up in the 1980s. Cliché is ingrained in the fabric of my existence.
As time went on and as I continued to blog, I realized that venting about Sarah was about as useful as Spencer Pratt’s flesh-colored beard. But the whole ordeal of going through a massive heartbreak and the subsequent depression changed my perspective on everything. I realized that depression gave me depth of thought and people on the internet took interest is some of the things I said. I learned to develop and hone my spirituality based on reality and not beliefs. Whether through music, sports, or pop culture, I’ve used this blog to overthink things and decipher the Universe through the persona of a coffee shop philosopher with no redeeming qualities.
The entire essence of the blogger known as manilajones was based on the unsettled feeling of never having any resolution with Sarah. The lack of peace of mind has haunted me and fueled this blog for the past three years, and I never imagined what life would have been like if things were different.
Things are different now.
In a world where America can elect a black President and Katy Perry is considered “talented,” I suppose it’s not too unbelievable what happened this past weekend. Things happened this weekend that I thought would never happen. The regret that has weighed heavily on my heart for the past four years has finally been lifted; the closure that my mind has sought has finally been granted. But most importantly, I have the peace of mind that Sarah does not hate me.
It’s a new era for Thumbchips and Other Conjectures. As long as the Universe operates in ways that I don’t understand, this blog will always be around to try to figure it out.
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Comments (7)
what is mt essence? a blogger that's frustrated with the whole process and most the people? except 20. i like about 20 of you, i'm not a complete hater :)
my blog started as a way to get past the boredom. then shortly after it was a way to chronical my adventures. but I learned in the end, much like you did, that having a blog allows you to express every thought about something that upsets you in the clearest form. you can think about it. say it out loud or at least write it out. you get a fresh perspective, others see more into what you say and ad advice. it's, sometimes, more theraputic than just discussing things with people directly. I like the way you throw in humor, sattire, and everything, you remind me of someone. let's hope the universe is always perplexing.
I'm glad for you, honestly.
Very vague, indeed! What happened that gave you this sense of closure?
Glad you won't be departing from the blogosphere. What would I do instead as my morning ritual?
congrats to yOU! i hope this new era continues with ur self deprecating humor cuz i love it. but yeah relationships are hard. no lies. lets us traverse these arduous waves together helping each other navigate the waves of a a beezie's heart. hahah lolz so lame yes i know but yeah keep blogging homie!
lol i love your blog so original and funny and you can DEF tell that you're not blogging for others...
"i have no redeeming qualities" is so much funnier than FML or anything.
I'm glad you found peace of mind. It tends to elude people for a long time.