Tuesday, 18 August 2009
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Currently
MTV Unplugged No. 2.0
By Lauryn Hill
see relatedStarbucks Story Tuesday: Marshmallow Nightmare Bar
Whenever I find myself at a fast food restaurant that I’ve never been to before, I’m always a little bit nervous about ordering because of my unfamiliarity on how they work. Like, did I order that rolled taco correctly or did I sound like an idiot? Or, am I supposed to tell them I want onions on my hamburger or does it already come with it? Or, am I supposed to wait at the register for my food or are they going to call my number? Life probably shouldn’t be this difficult.
Fast food places can be intimidating, and Starbucks is no exception to this. Ordering coffee drinks can be somewhat complicated, but after years and years of practice I’ve finally mastered the art of ordering a douchebag coffee drink without messing up. Recently, however, I wanted to get some food at Starbucks, which is something that I had never done before.
Last week I was in line at Starbucks and looking in their pastry case and noticed that they had Rice Krispies treats. These were one of my favorite snacks growing up as a kid and I hadn’t had one in at least ten years. But the label next to them in the pastry case didn’t say “Rice Krispies Treat;” it said “Marshmallow Dream Bar.” This was the stupidest thing I had ever seen. Did they seriously want paying customers to say that when they ordered it? It sounded like a dietary snack from a lame weight-loss center in a Danielle Steel romance novel. I had no idea how to order this. Should I call it by its correct name and what it’s universally known as, or should I call it that silly and contrived name that Starbucks made up?
So I got to the register and told Michelle my drink order, and when she asked if I wanted anything else I said, “Yes. Can I get, um, a Marshmallow Dream Bar?” I said, hoping she wouldn’t laugh.
“Excuse me?” she asked.
Fuck. I had to say it again? This was the worst thing that could have happened. “A Marshmallow Dream Bar.”
“Oh! A Rice Krispies treat? Hahaha! I’m sorry about that. No one ever calls it that,” she giggled.
Yeah, roll on floor laugh out loud laugh my fucking ass off. I’m glad you had a good time at my expense. As I walked away I could overhear her tell her coworker that someone had just ordered a “Marshmallow Dream Bar.”
Jeez.
The next day I came back and, again, I was in the mood for a Rice Krispies treat. Meredith was taking orders this time and I was confident I could order without anyone laughing at me. I ordered my drink and when Meredith asked if I needed anything else I coolly said, “Yeah, and a Rice Krispies treat, please.”
Meredith paused for a bit and then said, “Oh, okay. We call them Marshmallow Dream Bars, but I know what you mean.”
I have no redeeming qualities.
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Comments (15)
Hahah! My best friend orders those every time we pull through the starbucks drive through. And she just says "Dream bar"....perhaps you should find one with a drive-through and give it your own nick-name. I think starbucks thrives on that kind of gayness.
Last time I pulled through there alone, they were trying to 'off' their used up coffee grounds for compost. What ever will they think of next?
She did not! That's too precious, lol. But I too nickname the pastries. Or, I would have just gone with 'rice krispy looking bar thing' which I feel would have worked too :) Or maybe it's just because we're girls, that our inability to grasp a simple concept as reading a label is overlooked as we try to visually describe the item in question, and we're thought of as "cute". I don't know. I don't make the double standards, just live by them...
it's total brainwashing. I once ordered a London Fog and they called me out on it because it's actually an earl grey tea latte with vanilla syrup and the London Fog title is the trademark drink titled by another cafe. See how they complicate the uncomplicated.
I am generally frightened and intimidated by the commercial food industry. Not to mention I feel like a total dumbass ordering something named "Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n' Fruity". Jesus fucking Christ, guys.
So I came here after reading the mean message you sent to Vanedave and wondering what sort of person would do that. Turns out this post of yours is really very funny. I will assume you are a jokester who was being funny when you wrote that note to Vanedave as well. I like to think well of people whenever I can...... I don't eat out a lot and I really hate the weird names they give to normal everyday food items too. I love the way you handled it.
wha..... what kind of starbucks .... LOL -____-
anyway yeah ^ like that person said i thought you were a funny person so i stalked -- I MEAN, CHECKED OUT your xanga. :D
Lulz. XD
I hope you were joking with Dave. :\
I think the folks at your Starbucks are enjoying screwing with you!
@ClassandSass - That happens to me sometimes too. Next time try saying "Oh, OK, I can go over there and get it ... if you want." with the last phrase kind of as a question. That usually straightens 'em right up.
same thing happened to me. =)
golden moment.
I have the same problem. I'm basically terrified of counters, and it doesn't help that I'm so short I can usually barely see over them. Now I just make my boyfriend order.
Marshmallow Dream Bar is Rice Krispies' gay son.
LMAO. Thanks, I enjoyed this entry. BTW, love their, "Rice Krispies Treats!" LoL @ wherethefishlives's comments. Sounds so gay.
I dont know that there is ANY dignified way to order a krispie.
i have the same problem goin into new fast food joints, too, and i had the same prob w/ the dream bars! sometimes i think the people who come up w/ these names do it for funny stories like this :)