February 14, 2011

• Facebook Friends

  In a few weeks The Social Network will win the Academy Award for Best Picture.  The screen writing was superb, the acting was convincing, and the score was masterful.  Now, I should disclose that I am not a movie expert.  I didn’t study cinema in college; I studied biochemistry.  Also, I don’t even watch a lot of movies.  I watch, on average, only about two movies a year.  In fact, I kind of hate watching movies.  Sometimes I think people who are really into movies are just normal people who like to sit in the dark and pretend to be artistic (kind of like photographers).  I don’t like to pretend; it takes too much effort.  I’d rather just not watch movies and criticize people who do.  I’m all about the easy way out.

  In any case, that Facebook movie should win Best Picture simply because there has never been a motion picture that was so socially relevant to the time in which it was released.  There is a good chance that you or someone you know has a Facebook account.  Facebook is so big that if you don’t have a Facebook, account, it is, or will be in the future, generally accepted that there is something wrong with you.  Facebook is neither good or bad; it’s just part of our culture and way of life.  I, along with Facebook’s five hundred million users, share this way of life, and four hundred of these people are on my friends list.  So why the fuck am I so lonely?

  I suspect that many people understand how I feel, regardless of whether they are actually lonely or not.  Of the four hundred people on my friends list (who are not family members), I consider about ten of them to be current friends.  The rest of them are former friends, acquaintances, and former co-workers from different periods of my life (elementary school, high school, college, professional school, and various work places).  I interact with them everyday; I write on their walls, comment on their updates, Like their links, and vice versa.  These are people that I am interested in and care about, yet I wouldn’t mind if I never see any of these people again.  This isn’t meant to sound mean-spirited, but the reality is that I will probably never see most of these people ever again.  There is no doubt that Facebook has made it very easy to keep in touch with people, but it hasn’t revolutionized friendship as much as people think it has.  It just revealed how we really feel about the people who have come through our lives.

  Surprisingly, this doesn’t depress me.  A long time ago a very mean women explained friendship to me.  She told me that if you could have at least one real friend on the day that you die, then you’ve had a successful life.  Maybe she foresaw the social impact of Facebook.  In a way, having friendships without having actual friends sounds kind of ideal.  It makes it easier to be real.  I don’t like to pretend; it takes too much effort.  I’m all about the easy way out.

  • 4:54 pm
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